Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Finding Nemo

Sitting anxiously on the rock in the deep ocean, Marlin was with his friend Dory searching for his lost son. "Hey Mr Grumpy Gills when life gets you down, you know what you gotta do?" Dory asked singing a happy tune and desperately trying to cheer her friend up. "I don’t want to know what you gotta do" Marlin replied grumpily.

"All you got to do is just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming." Dory grabbed Marlin's fin and started swimming down deep into the ocean. "Dory, No singing" Marlin commanded "What do we do? We swim swim" Dory continued.  

"See I’m gonna get stuck now with that song now it’s in my head" yelled Marlin, in the deepest darkest depths of the ocean.


Quziyah said...

Hello Turuhira,
I was not expecting this from you. What I like about this post is that its simple and it doesn't really have all those ands and thens. Awesome work on your punctuation and good work on not adding to much or to little detail. I could picture it in my head. Cool picture by the way.


Turuhira W-K said...

What I really need to work on are simple ideas. What I really love about my story, is that I can really picture the story in my head. Thanks Miss King for editing my story!

Sincerely Turuhira

Sesalina said...

Awesome Story Turuhira,
I also can picture your wonderful story in my head. You are a really good writer and brilliant detail.

Sincerely Sesalina